Last night I learned an important lesson in confidence.
Deadlifts have always been something I have felt comfortable with, something I was good at. I am proud of my 1RM of 110kg, and would like to see how much I can improve on that at some point.
But over the last few months I have lost a bit of confidence in them and my ability to lift heavy, and do it for multiple reps. A few months ago we did a WOD where we had 7 lifts to hit our 1RM or potentially improve. Long story short I just wasn’t feeling it that night and fell just short of my 1RM. I was a bit disappointed about it. Here is the post I wrote at the time….
So for the last few months in workouts I haven’t gone as heavy as I maybe could or should have. I have been sticking around the 55-60kg if there have been a lot of reps. Well below Rx weight usually. The reps still felt hard and I was working hard during the WOD. I had lost the confidence to lift a reasonable weight and believe I could sustain it for the workout. 90kg was a partic heavy women’s weight that had been programmed last night. I thought I would like to do it but felt there was no way i could.
Last night’s WOD was
10 Deadlifts (90kg)
50 double unders or scaled 100 single skips
50 double unders or scaled 100 single skips
As we warmed up the Deadlift I asked Sam what I should do for the WOD. I knew I could do a 90kg Deadlift but had only ever done 3 or 4 reps then moved on to a heavier weight. This WOD was for 30 reps in total and I really didn’t think I could sustain 90kg for that many reps.
Sam advised that the ideal weight was within 20kg of your 1RM. Being my was 110kg that put me smack on the prescribed 90kg. Sam said great we’ll warm up to that weight and just see how you go, see how my technique is etc and then decide what the weight will be for the WOD.
Started my warm up at 35kg and told Sam I thought that would be about right for the workout. The ‘Yeah right’ I got in response wasn’t comforting. I bumped it up to 55kg and did a few more then took it to 75kg. I was feeling it as heavy but Sam said to go to 85kg and we’ll see. Did a couple of those and she said well you’re so close to 90kg may as well try it. Sigh. I wasn’t feeling all that great about it as I doubted I could do it for the entire workout. Sam had said she wanted me to finish in under 10minutes and I felt like if I went heavier it would take forever. S
I put on the plates and brought it to 90kg. Walked up after a couple of deep breaths and landed 3 lifts. Sam was happy with my technique etc so decision made. One of the guys Pete came over and was talking to me and told me that I could lift it no worries. Just focus on technique on each lift. Theresa came over and asked what I was lifting and I told her the full 90kg, big smile from her followed by a ‘you can do it’. I wasn’t feeling all that confident but I was going to try it.
I know full well had I been left to my own devices to plan my own weight there is no way I would have attempted 90kg. I would have maybe sat at 70kg. I had even said to Matt before the WOD as we watched the prior class that I would probably do 70 as I didn’t think 90 was sustainable. Little did I know….
The clock started the countdown from 10 seconds and I stood in front of that bar not knowing what would happen. 3….2….1….GO
And I lifted, I did the first 5 before I took a quick break to shake out the hands. Sam was right beside me for every rep. Encouraging and pushing, the usual chant of ‘quick breath now back on’ rang in my ears. Pete was standing in front of me yelling encouragement and I could hear Theresa from the back of the room yelling support. Marc was pushing me hard as well.
I got through the first 10 with a mixture of surprise and relief. I hit the skipping and used that as a time to refocus on the next 10.
Stepped up to the bar again, took a deep breath and lifted. I broke this set up a little more doing 3,3,2,2 reps just to get it done. The break was not more than a few seconds between attempts. I was sucking in so much air and trying not to lose my focus. I got through that 10, Again with the encouragement ringing in my ears.
Last set rolled around and I knew I had to finish it. This was important for my confidence. I checked the clock and time elapsed was just over 6mins so I wanted to beat that 10mins Sam had set for me.
Again I had to break the set up 3,3,2,2 and that last rep was so hard to open my hips up. My hands were burning and my lungs were screaming. But I got it done. I dropped the weight and wandered over to the fan, where Marc said ‘keep going you can rest when you’re finished’ Shit! I had forgotten about the skipping. Time was ticking away and I still had 100 skips to do. I raced over and grabbed my rope and skipped hard. I finished the WOD in 8m50sec which is a result I am very happy with. Some lost time due to forgetting to skip but essentially an efficient workout. I hadn’t taken to many breaks and none of them were very long which is an improvement.
Marc told me after that he thought I’d done a great job and was the only girl to Rx the weight. He doesn’t say much so seeing his smile and hearing those words meant a lot. That made me pretty happy with my effort.
I explained to that I had lost confidence with lifting heavy since the last 1RM attempt and hadn’t done a lot of reps at a decent weight ever really. Sam’s reply was ‘see you just need to be pushed’, I laughed at that and thought to myself maybe that’s what I needed too. It’s funny how when someone believes in you and knows you can do something how you’re more likely to give it a crack. Rather than being left to your own devices and insecurities. Playing it safe.
I remember wise words from a very good friend, & great trainer who said that they would never ask me to do anything they didn’t believe I could do. So when they asked me to do something I didn’t think I just did. Was a bit like how I approached last night. There’s nothing wrong in using a little belief and confidence supplied by others to reinforce your own.
I’m grateful for the support of everyone last night and it really did help me. That’s where Crossfit & our community is truly different to any other training group I have ever been involved in. Everyone wants everyone else to achieve their goals and win their own personal battles. When their work is done they throw their full support behind those who are still finishing.
And at times, that support can be the difference success or failure. It’s that push that helps you want to do better and be better.
Sometimes you just need a little push……