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Sometimes life has a way of surprising you.

Yesterday was not a great day. Personally my impersonation of a gopher sticking it’s head out of a hole did not go so well after copping a few hits, work was stressful and it was basically a long day. Also at the back of my mind was the fact it was deadlift 1RM night at the box.

I  posted about 6 weeks ago about how it had deserted me – Missing One Deadlift.  I was frustrated and down on confidence.  Not helping me feel good about getting my deadlift back was the fact I had seemed to miss every deadlift session done at the box over the last 6 weeks. Awesome. I arrived at the box feeling flat & tired, traffic was awful getting out there, and I had the wrong training gear and just was not feeling it.

The class was massive so I said to James I could sit out and would just do it later in the week and I’d go upstairs and work on my other lifts. I was looking for an out.  I didn’t want to do it and fail again.  James knew this after I had mentioned it briefly in our 1:1 on Tuesday so he certainly wasn’t going to give it to me. He said nope it’s fine. My heart skipped joyfully – NOT!

My good mate Hoffy had been messaging me and she knew I wasn’t all that confident in what I would do. She sent me one text that said simply ‘lift one for me would ya’. I knew she was trying to give me a focus because I didn’t think I do it and that if I was doing one for her then I’d not hold back. And despite knowing this my inner instinct kicked in and I didn’t want to let her down.

Once again teamed up with Lisa & Mya for the session. I have a lot of fun working with these girls and it’s awesome to watch them smash through PB’s and do more than they thought they could. Both are very strong and also quite determined. We push each other along really well.

We began working through our warm up sets and I decided I wanted to try being aggressive with the lifts. Just walk up set my position and go.  The previous night when working on the snatch James had me do some fast explosive deadlifts to get the feel for my knees pulling out of the way first. I decided to try that with the lighter weights to get a good feel going. I hit the first 5 reps at 65kg hard and fast and it felt good.

Working up in weight I was jumping up 10kg at time in the early sets and each set felt as easy as the one before. In between my sets I got to encourage Mya & Lisa with their lifts and watch them smash it.  Once I did my set at 95kg easily and still with some speed I then was determined to beat my previous PB of 120kg. I haven’t lifted anything over 105kg since April. I wanted it a lot.

With every passing rep I got more and more confident. Passing 100 & 105 comfortably gave me so much confidence as that was my sticking point. It felt easy and I felt strong. 110 & 115 came and went and I knew I had more in the tank.  Mya smashed a PR of 90kg and made it look so easy. Very cool.

Lisa & I were still adding weight. Her PR was the same as mine of 120 and I was keen to make sure she had a chance to beat hers as well.  I stepped up to 120 and took a breath and just lifted. When I completed the lift I was so happy to have made it, equal PR and the best I had managed at CFNB. Lisa managed to equal her PR lift which was great!!

I thought about going for 122 but then went bugger it and threw 5kg to bring it to 125.  Time was running down but took a couple of extra seconds for some chalk and a breath then walked to the bar.  I stood, backed off then walked straight in and set up. With one breath in I started the lift and it felt like that bar floated up. Normally when I’ve done a PR it’s a struggle to get it to the top and it drags on my thigh but no such problem last night!! I dropped the bar and threw my hands in the air. I think if I had another 5mins I could have given 130 a crack but time was done.  I even did a little jump for joy.

I’d tweeted earlier in the afternoon about the day not being great and a good friend sent back ‘turn that frown upside down’. Well let me tell you finding my deadlift certainly achieved that!!!  I was buzzing. 

Next up we did floor press and between the 3 of us we all managed PB’s and  I got to 52kg which I had to fight for all the way up but got it.  As usual plenty of laughs between us three girls and somewhat of a comedy of errors helping each other with the weights. It was a good night.

So I sit here today happy & relieved that I got my deadlift mojo back.  I didn’t want it to be a confidence thing moving forward or whatever. Deadlifting was always my go to lift. I guess maybe I took it forgranted that I would always just do it. The battle to get it back certainly makes me appreciate that lift so much more. In fact it’s the PR that means the most to me.

Final tests tomorrow with Snatch and Clean & Jerk.  James did a largely technical session with me on both of these lifts to ensure I had confidence in my technique in order to lift as well as I can on Friday. We did lots of reps at a light weight, even down to 7kg with the snatch. Just to get technique and confidence right.

When I go in tonight I’ll do some work prior to the session just to make sure I’ve still got it. Because I have never done massive weight with either of these lifts and the Snatch is definitely my weakest lift I have no expectations. Whatever I lift I lift, but I know I’ll be one step closer to getting the numbers I know I am capable of.

I saw this photo a couple of days ago and it’s never been truer for me than it is right now.....

At the end of the day, no matter what is going on in my life, that bar is always waiting there to give me an outlet. It doesn’t care about my excuses or how sorry I feel for myself. It’s up to me if it moves or not and what I do with it. I love the feeling of chalking my hands, finding my grip on the bar, feeling the texture as I lock in my grip.  It gives me a single point of focus for that moment in time where I can prove to myself I am indeed strong.