Hello Stranger

Wow it's been sometime since I last posted.  Over 18mths.  Insane to think of how fast time has gone.

There have been various reasons for the lack of posting.  The main one being I was conflicted once I became a coach and later an affiliate owner (oh yeah will fill you in on that shortly) how appropriate it was to share my inner thoughts with members etc.

But over time I have come to realise I still control what I write and my perspectives and reasons for starting this blog in the first place haven't changed.

So lets update

Lisa the Athlete

Late 2013 I had begun competitive Powerlifting just for some fun. However it escalated fast and before I knew it I was signing up for States, Nationals and even a World title.  Kinda nuts.

Along the way I met some truly exceptional and strong women, but physically but also in character.  They refused to back down to challenges and stereotypes and continued to pursue that which they love.

I loved the grind of Powerlifting training, the heavy sets and reps and feeling my body get stronger.  Wasn't so much a fan of the training solo but sometimes you gotta get it done.  My first loved remained, and always will remain CrossFit.  But this was about me having a pursuit that was mine.

So after a year of competing in 2014 I qualified for the CAPO Australian Team to contest the GPA World Titles to be held in Sydney in November.  To say I was stoked was massive under statement.

The lead up to the event was somewhat disrupted with me buying a CrossFit Affiliate (more on that soon) so I wasn't as prepared as I would have liked to be.  The event itself was a huge day and so draining.  I was however excited to be visited by friends during the day to give me some support.

At the end of the event I was surprised to with the Gold Medal for SHW, Open, Raw Plus.  Pretty exciting stuff for the fat kid from the bush.

I received so much support from the members at my affiliate and friends via Facebook etc.  Made the whole experience surreal.

For the time being I am not competing in any sport, either Powerlifting or Strongman.  My focus is on building my affiliate and being the best coach I can be.  I do know though that at some point in the future I will return to events.

Lisa the Coach

Way back when I started CrossFit I had always dreamt that maybe one day I could be a coach, but I never thought it was something I could do.  I wrote about that experience here .  I began working as a coach and gaining more and more experience.

I loved what I was doing and being able to have this opportunity was something I was truly grateful for.  I had always hoped that one day I could open my own affiliate.  Again not a dream I ever thought I would realise simply because of the potential cost.

The universe works in strange ways and I was presented with an opportunity to purchase the affiliate at which I was working.  Somehow in a chaotic frenzy we managed to pull it off in a limited timeframe.

CrossFit New Beginning 4504 was born.

I was lucky enough to be offered the opportunity to become a kind of sister affiliate with my CrossFit home in Sydney so I could access branding and the name which I loved plus also endless support and coaching.  My affiliate is independently run but I am grateful for the support I have from Matt & James in Sydney. It's reassuring to have someone so experienced to run ideas past.

I still learn every day about being a coach, a head coach and affiliate owner.  There are lots of responsibilities  that I need to keep on top of.  At times it is a heartbreaking thankless job, yes I'll be honest about that.  You don't open an affiliate if you want to win a popularity contest or be carried on a sea of shoulders.  It is most certainly a career of service. You do it out of a desire to help others be all they can be.

However in the same token it is the most rewarding and amazing career, I get to share the love I have for CrossFit and see it change their lives in so many positive ways.  When one of my members gets a PB I'm possibly more excited than they are.  To see someone knew get some confidence under a barbell and start seeing their own potential is just inspiring.  The little changes we make are also huge to the person from helping them hit a squat pain free or move better and not have to rest as much during a WOD.

I love the opportunity I have to work with and develop my assistant coaches.  Guiding them and teaching them to be the best they can be as athletes and coaches.  I am lucky that my 2 coaches I have working alongside me are just as passionate and committed to the box and the members as I am.  It's a great environment to work in.

The box continues to grow and I love seeing the stream of new faces being warmly welcomed into our community by our experienced members, and everyone is made to feel at home immediately.

So for now this is my focus. Learning as much as I can and making my affiliate the best it can be for all of my awesome members.

Full Circle

Wow crazy days!!  Time has flown so fast not only since my last post but over the year in general. Can’t believe it’s almost 2014. 

The last few months have been very challenging for me on many levels, and whilst there have been a few lows, there have also been some positives.

So where to start………

My training hasn’t been spectacular this year. Nowhere near where I was this time last year.  I’ve struggled to adjust to my new schedule from running my own business and focusing on my clients and then starting as a coach with CrossFit Nouveau.  Both of these roles I have LOVED but yes it’s been a steep learning curve. 

I have struggled to find a purpose, a direction I wanted to take my training in. I haven’t spent much time with a coach 1:1 as I would have normally wanted to and I find that helps me a lot to stay focused.  

However the last 6 weeks I have discovered a purpose & passion and have some very specific goals.  I have started training for Powerlifting events (Deadlift, Back Squat, Bench Press).  This style of lifting I have always loved and have been relatively good at.  So after a brief conversation with one of the most passionate and talented Powerlifters, and coaches I know, Les, I have entered my first event.  He gave me an accelerated program and has helped me so much along the way. I’ve hit every training session and whilst I have found it very mentally and physically challenging it’s been just what I needed.

Yes I am nervous about the event and fully expect to have my arse handed to me on a plate, this event is about learning and experiencing for me. I have only had a 6 week prep so let’s be realistic.

Also in 2014 there is going to be a Strongman series in QLD so I will be entering that as well. The first comp is in Jan and looks heaps of fun.

Today I’ve been given cause to look at how far my life has come in just a year – from losing my job and all security this time last year to running a successful PT business and also making a career as a CrossFit Coach. Something that I love & cherish immensely.  Today I fitted another piece into the puzzle by attaining the CrossFit Kids Certification.  The course was amazing and gave a whole new dimension to working with the kiddo’s.  I already run Kids fitness classes but this new toolkit will really enable me to take it further and help the kids develop in all areas of their life and have a much more positive impact of them. 

I never thought I would be one who had an aptitude to work with Kids but over the last 6mths or so I have found it one of my most enjoyable sessions of the week. They teach me so much about myself both as a person and a coach and always make me laugh!!

This weekend also gave me some light at the end of a VERY long tunnel I have walked through my entire life.  As a child I had some developmental issues with my motor skills, muscles, co-ordination etc. I simply could not run or jump like the other kids.  Today I still struggle to do many of the movements most people take forgranted.  I’ve never done a forward roll for example or dived into a pool or handstands & cartwheels etc. I was late to walk as a baby and never crawled.  All throughout life people have judged my lack of ability with these skills to be simply a matter of being overweight or unfit. It’s not the case and I’ve spent years justifying it but to be honest the majority just don’t believe me.

It’s always been an issue that caused me great heartache. I never felt normal and when people give you ‘the look’ it just makes it worse.  In order to try by some miracle to improve my skills in this area to be more proficient as a coach I had arranged to work with a superstar gymnastics coach privately in the new year.  I didn’t hold out much hope that I would actually be able to do the movements but I certainly knew I would understand them better to coach them.

But here’s the moment that flicked a light and some hope that I might be ‘cured’, one of the seminar staff this weekend who is also a physical therapist spoke about how some kids have developmental issues with certain skills such as and listed off all the things I couldn’t do and this usually was seen in babies who specifically did not crawl but got around on their butt. OMG she was telling my story. And then she went on to talk about the therapies they used to help correct the deficiency in these kids.

So today at lunch I asked Kelly about it and told her my story and wondered if it was too late to improve my issues.  She was really excited when I told her and she totally thought we could start reversing some of the ‘stuff’ but clearly unlike a 7yr old it would take a bit longer.  She gave me some drills to get myself started and some concepts to work towards. Sadly she comes from the US so I can’t go see her but this is a very positive outcome.  I was actually excited that one day I could do all those little things which for me are huge.

So now I have some things to give to my gymnastics guru when we start sessions and something to work towards long term.  

And maybe one day I can feel like the normal kids and not have to see ‘the look’ anymore.

This year has been a blur of good, bad, indifferent, soaring highs and crushing lows.  I have learnt a lot about running a business and making the hard decisions that need to be made. I have learnt a lot as a trainer and as a coach.  I’m not perfect but I know I try bloody hard to do the best I can and put my client’s needs  ahead of my own.  I’ve learnt a lot about human nature and the good and the bad to that. I’ve tried not to let the bad jade me or change who I am but yes some of the experiences have done that to a degree both for the better and not.

Two years ago I had bottomed out and couldn’t see much point to anything. Last year with a crisis that pushed me in the direction of where I truly should be heading. And I know 2014 will be another epic ride!!!!

On my way back!

To say the last couple of months have been challenging has to be the understatement of the year.  Life has been hectic and business busy, and doing more of what I love which is coaching CrossFit.

I guess now I need to break my little CrossFit Journey into two parts, that of coach and athlete.

The Athlete

There hasn’t been a lot to write about in this regard. I’ve been battling a virus of sorts which has left me suffering extreme fatigue and unable to do much. Running my PT business and working in the box has taken a lot of my energy reserves.

I’ve done a handful of training sessions but nothing to what I was.  However I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to do some technique based sessions with elite CrossFitter and coach Hannah Caldas. In just the first few moments of our initial session she identified some strength deficiencies in my glutes. She sees movement exceptionally clearly and has a way of coaching that fills you with total belief you can do whatever it is she suggests.

During our first session she managed to help me get to a full depth Overhead Squat with 20kg, a feat I’ve only ever done with a broomstick! To say I was happy is an understatement! I minor miracle. In session 2 I landed a 50kg Front Squat, again to depth.

Regular followers of this blog will know the trials & tribulations I have had with my squat. So these two achievements are something else.

Another source of frustration for me this year was the fact I seemed to have lost my deadlift. Even 100kg has been impossible to get off the ground.  I love my deadlift and it’s been very disappointing.   In a strength session with my coach Nat we played with the deadlift and I somehow managed to get 115kg up which was a huge confidence boost.  And in a CFT session with Hannah I got 120kg up. Getting closer to my 125kg PB finally.

On the weekend we had a CFT day as a box. In the first session in the morning the crew all worked their lifts to get new 1RM’s across Strict Press, Back Squat & Deadlift. After our crew finished the coaches gave it a crack.

A lot of the members hung around to watch us and lend support, was a fantastic energy in the box.  I did well in the first 2 movements and couldn’t wait for the deadlift.  Hannah had told me earlier in the week I just had to believe in myself so I went in with a confident mindset.  I didn’t think about the number on the bar, I just walked up to each lifted and stood it up.  I felt good when the lighter lifts felt easy, even 100kg cruised up. Before I knew it I had hit my existing PB of 125. Next lift was 130kg and without much thought I lifted it. BOOM new PB!! I was pretty bloody happy I can tell you. I tried for 135kg but wasn’t to be.

130kg BOOM!!

One of the cool things of the morning was doing my CFT with Bel, our head coach and someone who I admire greatly. She has been through a massive journey over the last year to overcome injury and the confidence sapping effects on that. To see Bel getting back to where she was pre injury is testament to her determination and being prepared to doing the painstaking rehab work. That was what made the day for me.

Bel in full focus mode

So now I am feeling okish and last week I did a full week of training and pulled up ok. So for now I am going to push on while I feel good.  Am working on some new strength goals and have a plan and some direction.  Operation #leanmeanstronghethro has commenced. Let’s just hope the body continues to play nice.

The Coach

Every single day I am learning so much as coach. I learn from my fellow coaches at the box, from watching and listening to other coaches and by endlessly studying articles and videos on movements and coaching.

I continue to learn about better ways to structure a class and figuring out which cues work for the various members we have at the box.  I do know it is something I love to do completely and get such a buzz out of seeing our athletes achieve things they didn’t think they could.  It’s an amazing position to be in to have a front row seat to watch athletes develop and grow.

Coaching during CFT

There are many things I am yet to learn and experience and I know there are things I can improve upon, but this part of my CrossFit Journey has only been in existence for the last 3 months. I’m not arrogant enough to think I am the best coach on 2 legs.  I know I am not but I am always open to learn about how I can improve.

I consider myself lucky to be surrounded by people I consider to be excellent coaches, both in my immediate circle and also other coaches I have worked with.  They are so free with their knowledge and advice it makes my life a lot easier.

We also have one of the best communities at CrossFit North Lakes. The crew is very supportive & encouraging and we work together well. Everyone trains with integrity and really gives their all. We have a lot of fun even when working hard.  

Some of our awesome community

So it’s been a big few months and now am back to some routine and some training I hope to keep this little blog a bit more updated!!  Lots of good things happening and I can't wait to see what the next few weeks brings.

The Magic Is In The Movement

Wow over 2mths since my last post and I have no idea where time has gone. I have had this post rolling around in my head for a few weeks though so tonight am finally making time to get it out there.

A lot has happened over the last little while, and mostly these happenings have been exciting, challenging, terrifying and amazing all at once. Where to start........

Well I guess with the biggest change and most exciting. In early June I attended a CrossFit Level 1 Seminar in an attempt to become a CrossFit coach. It's been something I have wanted to do for about a year, but in the back of my mind never really thought I could or would do it. I have a certain perception of coaches and all of my coaches I see as elite athletes in some form or another. I look up to them as highly skilled individuals who are confident & capable.  I certainly never see myself in that light when it comes to CrossFit. I am hardly elite and there are many, many skills which I am not yet proficient in.

However I was encouraged to do the course after numerous conversations with some of my favourite coaches and friends. I doubted how I would possibly have credibility in the box standing up in front of a class, expecting them to do things far better than I ever could. Who would listen to me? Once excellent example that was given to me was the fact a good coach is not someone who can do every single movement, but one who can teach the movement effectively, afterall the guy who coaches Tiger Woods probably can't beat him at golf, but he is able to teach Tiger in the movements he needs to improve.

So with that thought in mind I trundled off to the seminar. I was very apprehensive as I arrived as I guess I have that level of self conscious about my physical capabilities. I knew in the back of my mind I had the theoretic principles of the movements down and I knew that I can see movement patterns in others clearly and be able to rectify them. But the physical aspect of the course and what the other participants would be like was making me highly anxious.

There is a quote from CrossFit CEO & Founder Greg Glassman that I came to really appreciate during the seminar;

"The magic is in the movement, the art is in the programming, the science is in the explanation, and the fun is in the community"

It's a quote I have heard before but one I truly appreciated after studying movements in detail over 2 days.  I came to view the Squat as a thing of beauty when performed well, rather than something I once dreaded. Such a core foundational movement in everyday life, but one which done correctly can benefit so many areas in physical life.  The magic is indeed in the movement.  Yes I still battle with my squat but in those moments when it comes together there is no better feeling. Also nothing beats the feeling of correcting a clients squat and seeing them able to move far better.

Overall I found the 2 day course rewarding and challenging and some aspects quite confronting & very outside my comfort zone.  At the end of the 2 days you are required to sit an exam before you get your trainer certificate if you pass.  I have never wanted so much to pass an exam.  It took 2 weeks for the results to hit my inbox and I was over the moon to read that yes I had passed.  I was finally a CrossFit Coach. Couldn't quite believe it.

I started this blog almost 2 years ago now to detail as I worked to become a better CrossFit athlete. To show others who were a little scared to try it that if I could do this stuff than it truly was for anyone. I was and still am incredibly passionate about this sport and the community which it creates.  Now I find I am working my way to still becoming a better athlete but now also the best coach I can be.  I still have goals and aspirations as a CrossFit athlete, and also strongman athlete. I will always seek a competitive outlet.

The other exciting thing that happened was being offered a role as part of the coaching team at CrossFit North Lakes.  To be involved with such a great team of coaches it such a privilege and to be part of helping our athletes develop & improve is so exciting. It's an opportunity I never take forgranted and love every moment of it.

I find coaching so rewarding and exciting, even though I am still finding my feet and gaining my belief and confidence. Had someone told me at the start of last year when I had pretty much bottomed out that this is where I would be now I would have laughed in their face.   To not only be running my own successful PT business but also having the opportunity to be a CrossFit coach and live out 2 dreams was just beyond what I could comprehend.

There are some people all throughout the last 18mths that have had unwavering belief in me. Some have come into my life at various points but always at the exact moment I needed them to guide me. I am forever grateful to them.

Even though there are events that happened that irreovably changed who I am and how I view things and that time was very difficult, without all that none of this would have happened.  I guess it's all about perspective.

So I can't wait to see where this next part of My CrossFit Journey takes me.

3 years on

Almost 3 years ago I made a decision that would ultimately change my life forever, in so many ways. Some amazing beyond words and others painful beyond my reckoning, but each and every one of them brought me to the point I am today.  Many amazing people were brought into my life either directly or indirectly from this initial decision, some are still with me and others have no further part to play in my future. I’ve come to realise that the old saying about people coming into your life for a reason, season or lifetime is very true. Whilst at times I struggle to see the reason for some of these encounters each one has given me lessons which will be realised in time.

I had gotten to the point where I was sick of who I had become and was tired of being limited by my weight. Interestingly I hadn’t realised how much it was limiting me until much further into my adventure.

I decided to join the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation Program.  I didn’t hold out much hope for it actually working for me but I was at the point where enough was enough. I jumped in and totally immersed myself in the program, I embraced the concepts and principles and the community.  I met some incredible people who had already changed their life in amazing ways and they helped me walk the path they already cleared.

Surely enough the weight began to disappear, much to my astonishment. I was working hard however and eating exactly to the plans the program outlined. I began to spread my wings and try new things, activities I had always wanted to, running, kayaking, trapeze, rock climbing and so much more. 

I began to see my own worth and wanted more for my life.  I took a step and entered the world of CrossFit, which as documented here has changed my life again, and in many ways saved it when I needed it most.  CrossFit also brought the most incredible people into my life, many of whom still encourage, support & guide me today.  CrossFit has taught me much about myself, about my capacity to push through barriers and challenges.  I’ve felt acceptance within the community that I never have before.   I’ve competed as an athlete against the best in the world, I’ve competed in strongwoman events and challenged myself in new ways and prevailed when I thought failure was imminent. I’ve become part of some incredible communities at the boxes I have worked at. They hae become my family and a place I can just go and be me.  I give support & encouragement to my community freely and just love being a part of it.

Over the last 3 years I have lost 42kg and during that time gone up and down a little. But that’s ok. These days I am pretty stable and whilst I still have some to lose I am happy with my progress.  Controlling and maintaining my weight will always be a lifelong challenge for me. I won’t ever be one of these people who can sit and eat whatever they like.  If I step off my plan for more than a short time my body quickly will show the results.  Battling old habits and behaviours requires constant vigilance. I used to struggle with that and hate the thought this would be a lifetime struggle. But now I have accepted it and just like people with medical conditions who need regular medication monitoring my weight and the factors that influence it are just how I live my life. I know my parameters and I know the consequences.

I have found balance in my life. It’s about moderation for me and not perfection.  I don’t need to live up to anyone else’s expectations, I simply need to live by my values and be the best I can be for me.

It’s been well documented here on this blog about the hole I was in at the start of last year, and in fact for the majority of the year. Tha experience taught me a lot about human nature and highlighted to me why you should never put the needs of another ahead of your own. It absolutely changed the way I interact and accept people into my life.

The start of 2013 saw me once again be at a point where I was tired of the situation I was in and change was thrust upon me. I took a leapt and started my own Personal Training business.  Totally terrifying to be solely responsible for my success. I committed to it with everything I had within me and it’s been successful. I have never felt so fulfilled and complete as when I am working with my clients, either directly or working on their programs to help them achieve their goals.

Three years ago the fat girl sitting on this very same couch could not have forseen how life would be at this point. For every low there has been a high beyond my wildest expectations.  There are many days I still feel like that fat kid I was all my life.  Every time I step up to compete in an event or step into that box. But these days I push her aside and know that I am doing what I was born to do, I am leading a fulfilled life, surrounded by good people who I choose to have around me. Who accept me and support me. They cheer my success and pick me up when I fall. A handful of them carried me through last year without question. Held me afloat when I couldn’t hold myself and celebrated wildly when I overcame another barrier.

The last 3 years have brought me change, lessons, heartbreak, joy, success and learning. I haven’t failed because I’m still in there fighting every single day.  I’m not that same person. But she is still in there and that’s what pushes me continually forwards to be more.

So to those who continue to believe in me and support me and have done so since day 1 I thank you. These 3 years would not have turned out the way it had without you all.

I can’t wait to see what the next 3 years and beyond holds.

Do or Do Not, There is no Try

Over the last 2 months I have learnt a lot about myself and my capacity to get things done. During the 5 weeks of the CrossFit Games Open I astounded myself week in and week out with what I was able to do. For anyone else they may be small wins but to me they were major achievements. I jumped higher, squatted lower and swung higher than I ever thought I could. I achieved my goal of registering a score each and every week.  To me that was a success. There was not one event where I felt like I could have given more.

However during the last couple of weeks I’ve also been faced with major disappointments regarding my progress and development.  It’s no secret that strength is my thing. I like to move heavy things around and keep trying for heavier and heavier. I recently did some 1RM testing with my coach during a 1:1 and the results were disappointing. Not even close to my existing PR’s let alone surpassing them.

It was however a simple reflection on where my training has been at. I haven’t been able to do the regular strength work I would have done by getting to daily CrossFit sessions. With my business growing I am more often than not booked with clients at the same time the box is open. I do my own training and met cons daily, but let’s face it there is no substitute for heavy bar work, regularly.

I was really frustrated at the results, for many reasons. Firstly I am working hard day after day with my clients and helping them kick some serious butt with their goals, and I very much like to ‘walk my talk’ so to speak with them.  I want them to see that I still train hard and focus on clean eating so I can be the best I can for my goals. I was also frustrated from the perspective that I had my next strongman event fast approaching. 

So rather than just sit, sulk and be frustrated and sought solutions to my issues that were preventing me from doing the training I needed to do.  I asked around and found a facility where I could go in and do my own strength program, at times that worked for me. I then consulted with my coach to develop a specific strength program.

I am very grateful to have had the support of a lot of experienced and talented coaches behind me to bounce ideas around with and also to have them guide me.  So the plans are developed and now it’s time to implement them. I’ve worked out adequate time in my schedule for when I can train, and still get my required rest & recovery.  My business and my clients will still get the same focus as will the other key areas of my life.  It’s time to get it done.

After initially considering withdrawing from the Strongman comp I decided to still go and compete. I am not a quitter and have never backed away from a challenge.  I reset the expectations I had and decided that I would use the event for experience and for fun.

Event day dawned and with heaps of messages of support and encouragement ringing in my ears I headed to the day. 

First event was the deadlift, Max Reps in 90sec at 80kg.  I was glad this was the first event as it would be a good chance to get my confidence up. Even though 80kg was heavy I knew for me it was manageable. I just had to keep on it and pace myself. As I stepped up to the bar for my turn I took a deep breath and just went.  I was happy with my score of 90reps

Next up was the 20m 50kg each hand Farmer Carry.  Once again I was feeling pretty comfortable with this event as I have done 60kg in a previous event. Once again I stepped up, took a breath and just went. I managed to complete the distance in 13.32secs, which I was happy enough with.

Third event was the log press. Max reps at 35kg ground to overhead in 90secs. I was a little apprehensive about this one as I haven’t been able to practice with a log prior to the event. Dur to its size it makes the weight seem more awkward and heavier. I managed to get out 9 reps in the time allowed and overall I was happy with that.

Next up was the tyre flip. Now I was truly unsure if I could even get this damn thing in the air. Not sure of the exact weight but it was the biggest tyre (both in dimension and weight) that I have ever tried to flip.  We had to cover 20m in 90sec.  I did the first couple of flips ok but then just began to struggle. Couldn’t get enough drive with the initial push and needed about another inch of drive to enable me to get under it to complete the flip. I failed at 2 lifts and managed one more and finished the event at just 12m.  I was feeling pretty frustrated about that result as I expected to do a bit better as I usually have no issue with tyre flipping.  But again my lack of strength prep really was showing.  Still, frustrating and to be honest I’m still a bit pissed about it.

Final event of the day…….the one I was dreading. Max Reps in 90sec 60kg Atlas Stone to a 1m high barrel.  I was not expecting to register a single rep in this event. The heaviest stone I’d ever lifted was 50kg over 18mths ago. I had attempted the 60kg at a training session about 6 weeks ago and could only get it about 1cm off the ground. But I was determined to try as hard as I could. If I failed it wouldn’t be through lack of effort.

I stepped up for my go and I tried and tried and tried. That damn stone wouldn’t move. I had Scott and Bec giving me some awesome advice for each attempt and the crowd cheering me on.  One minute down and still no joy. I stepped up again, set myself and got my fingers as far under that stone as I could, I started to lift and it stuck. Before I knew it I had it on my lap and was regripping for the drive to the barrel. I stood and pushed with all I had and got it up. I just threw my arms in the air as the crowd cheered. For me it felt like I’d won the event.

Overall I finished 8^th in my division, and I was ok with that.  I’d had a really limited prep and to be honest I did the best I could. That was my last event for a while I think as I need to really get into my new program and work on the areas I need to.  I have some specific goals that I personally am now driving towards.  Once I feel ready and have some decent prep I’ll then consider different events.

So now it’s time to get it done. For me the equation is simple, ‘do or do not, there is no try’. I simply have to do.

13.2 & 13.3

Life has been so crazy lately I have no idea where the days go. I haven’t had 2 seconds to sit down and write about my ongoing CrossFit Games Open adventures.

WOD 13.2 was announced as

10min AMRAP
5 Clean & Jerks (35kg)
10 Deadlifts (35kg)
15 Box Jumps

As I read this workout when it was released immediately I thought my max score would be 15 as box jumps are something I have yet to master. I was heading to a 1:1 with my coach Adam and I figured we’d be spending the session trying to manufacture a miracle in getting me to jump on the box. However much to my utter astonishment and surprise CrossFit HQ were allowing step ups in the movement standards. I have never been so relieved.

Saturday rolled around and I was pretty determined to just keep moving and stick to the strategy and goal Adam & I had come up with.  3….2….1….GO and we were off. For me now this WOD wasn’t about fighting for a single rep it was more about how far I could push myself through. My goal was between 3-4 rounds and I would be happy. It was a tough WOD but I was happy with my result of punching through 4 rounds and almost starting my 5^th.

What was most inspiring for me during that WOD was watching some of the girls at my box fight and struggle to get that 35kg bar overhead. And even when their body stopped them eventually they had kept trying until they had nothing left. I loved seeing the effort not just the successes.

Another week rolls around and we eagerly await the announcement of 13.3. And it’s a big one!!! It’s a repeat of 12.4

12min AMRAP

150 Wall Balls
90 Double Unders
30 Muscle Ups

I knew that I couldn’t get through the wall balls in 12mins so wasn’t concerned about not being able to do the double unders.  However my biggest concern was not being able to get to the depth required for the squat in the wall balls. Biomechanically squatting to below parallel is difficult for me.  I had my 1:1 with Adam and we tested it and I was about an inch short. Did some mobility and stretches and still short. Sigh. To think I could be knocked out of the games for such a basic movement was killing me.

I spent the next 2 days doing every mobility drill and stretch I could to find that extra inch. I tested and retested my squat and no joy. Beyond frustrating.  Event morning rolled around and I was still short on depth.

I was a bit stressed about it to be honest. I spent the morning packing around the box before my heat, alternating between doing mobility to try again and just wandering around praying for a miracle. I went to put on my strength wraps for my wrists that I wear every single workout and have done for months now, they’re like my security blanket. As I pulled the tie on the second one tight the cord broke off. Oh no I thought, could this morning get any worse.  Could not believe it. I took myself off to sit down and was telling Mel about the tie and she turned to me and said the most awesome words, ‘You do know your strength is in your heart don’t you?’.  It kinda took me back a little and I nearly teared up and I quickly replied yes.  Those words were ringing in my ears as I took my place for my heat.

I had my good friend Jan judging for me and before we started I had Jody come over and measure my depth with a PVC pipe so Jan had an idea of where I was. Jody seemed to think I had gotten low enough, which I was totally surprised with.  Bel came around and had us all do one rep so she could make sure we were all good without targets. She checked my depth and said I was down far enough. Well at that point Jan let out a cheer as did a few others and Jody yelled over my goal score was 50reps. Pffffft I thought I was hoping for 10. If I had indeed got to depth I felt like it could have been a fluke.  But anyway I was going to try as hard as I could.  One rep would have been a win for me.

3….2…..1….GO and down I went. I had asked Jan to give me the OK each time I was deep enough so then I could complete the movement. She was getting more and more excited each time she said Yes to each rep.  Before I knew it I had done 30reps and still had 6mins left.  Jan & Pepper were right there pushing me to get to the 50 Jody had set. I was doing sets of 3 then 2 and breaking them up.  

To depth and looking determined

Mel came over at that point when I was getting really tired and once again said ‘your strength is in your heart, keep going’. I remember looking her in the eye and nodding then continuing on.  Every rep I got closer to 50 Jan urged me on further as did Bel.  I could hear lots of people yelling out, Kristie behind me getting excited the more reps I did. 

The last minute and I was past the 50 so Jan and the crew just screamed at me to get more and more reps. I finally finished with 62 reps, and to be honest I could not believe it.  When I finished the WOD I went over and gave Mel a hug. I couldn’t describe what those words meant to me both during and before the event.

So after for 2 workouts I managed to defy my body mechanics and gravity to do things I never thought possible. I haven’t gone into these two events with a negative attitude just saying I couldn’t do it. For both the burpees and squats I tried and tried for the 2 days prior to the event and was not successful. Even minutes before it was Go time still no joy.

Why my body has chosen to perform the unexpected right at the last minute I have no idea but I am eternally grateful.  My goal at the start of the open was to compete all 5 weeks.  And if tomorrow I can get at least one 43kg lift overhead then I will be back next week.  That for me is a win in itself and I will be super proud of my efforts. I have fought for every rep and even when I thought something was impossible I kept trying. I’ll taken a lot of lessons out of this 5 weeks that I can and will apply to not only my CrossFit but also my life.

My strength is in my heart and that’s the best advice I have been given and will stick with me forever.

13.1

The CrossFit Games Open season is upon us. 5 workouts in 5 weeks, and an opportunity for every CrossFit athlete globally to compete against each other in an attempt to qualify for The Games in July. How cool is that we get to compete in the same workout, judged and logged on the CrossFit website, as the best athletes in the world like Spealler, Froning, Foucher & Valenzuela. Awesome.

With much anticipation last Thursday we logged on and awaited the global release of the first WOD. Lots of speculation about what it could be and the announcement caused groans around the world…a combination of 2012 workouts.

17min AMRAP

40 burpees (with a jump to a target 6inches above your maximum reach)
30 snatches (20kg)
30 burpees
30 snatches (35kg)
20 burpees
30 snatches (45kg)
10 burpees
Snatches 55kg (use remaining time for as many reps as possible)

Immediately my heart sank. My first Open and I didn’t think I was going to be able to register a single score. Simply I didn’t think I could jump high enough to hit that target on the burpee’s.  My open season would be done in week 1.  I was very very stressed about it. I put a target on the wall at home and for 2 days tried and tried to hit it but each time fell short.  As a child my muscles didn’t develop as they should have so I never developed the explosive power I needed to jump & run, so those elements are usually a challenge for me.

I had no intention of withdrawing from the Games, I was always going to attempt it. Even if I had to spend the 17mins jumping up and down till I hit that damn target.

Many of my friends and members of a CrossFit page I am part of were all scoring around 100reps or more. I just felt so crap about the thought of actually failing, it was to be honest quite upsetting to me.

D Day arrived and I fronted up to the box and was allocated a heat time for my turn. I was getting some very cool messages from a couple of close friends to encourage me and they helped more than they will ever know.

Finally the time had come and I found my place and was measured for the burpee target. Once again I tried and tried to hit the target and the only way I could do it was taking a running jump, sadly this was not allowed in the event. I said to my judge & coach Jody that she wouldn’t have to count very high as I couldn't hit that target.

My friends in the box were just saying to me just get one rep, that’s all I needed to progress to week 2.  I doubted I could even get that and that was my focus, just one rep. To me that would be a win.

3….2……1…..GO and we were underway. I dropped into my first burpee, stood up, looked up at that ring, took a deep breath and just leapt. 

And to my complete astonishment I hit the damn target.  I will always remember the cheer that my mate Jan let out when I hit that ring. So back down I went and kept going. I anticipated I would take the entire 17mins to get through 40 burpees. Each and every single rep I stood under that ring and had to make a conscious total effort on that leap.

Jody was awesome pushing me on for every rep, reminding me to breathe, and focus on each jump. She counted me down and before I knew it I was onto the first round of snatches. I totally surprised myself. I was pretty shattered as I had given everything on every burpee. The weight of 20kg was manageable for me so my next goal was to finish them.

Started throwing the bar overhead and focusing on making each rep a good one. I didn't want to redo any.  Again I could hear people yelling my name, which just helps so much. Jody once again was wonderful and counting me through reps and making sure my rest was short. Half way through the snatches I started to think about what I was doing and how hard it was and how I wasn’t going to score anywhere near my peers. Felt tears coming and desperately didn’t want to lose my shit there so wandered off, got chalked and pulled myself together and kept going.

To my surprise again I got through the snatches and still had time for burpees.  In the remaining time I manages another 8. So my score for 13.1 was 78 reps. Not where I wanted to be but not the worst in the world.  And for me the win was in just getting one single rep. To overcome all that up until that moment I could not do.

I am not the fittest, strongest or fastest when it comes to this stuff. But every single time I step into that box I give 100% of myself. Sometimes I’m disappointed in what I can achieve, and other times I surprise myself with what I can do. I always try regardless.

So now we’re waiting to hit 13.2. The workout is something I can do so will post the results once I am done!!

Miss Me?

Well it’s certainly been a long while since I last posted here and it’s been a manic two months.  Let me sort through the chaos….

The week before Christmas I lost my job as a contractor down in Sydney. Crisis stations ensued and I madly began scrambling for options.  After all an income is critical.

Returned home to QLD as scheduled over the 2 week Christmas break and decided to give my PT business Accelerate YOU Personal Training a test run to see if maybe that could be my future.  I was very surprised with the interest in my sessions for that 2 weeks and it gave me hope that maybe I could make this work long term. For the first time in a long time I felt completely happy and fulfilled by what I was doing. So the decision was made to pack up and move back home.

I had some mixed feelings about leaving Sydney. For as much I had not been happy there for over a year there were some aspects of my life I had come to live for.  The main one being my box & crew at Crossfit New Beginning.  This was very much my second home and truly I have never felt as included or welcomed into a community as I did there. It was the one place I could go and just be me. The sessions were awesome, coaching second to none and the atmosphere was fantastic. I loved being there.

Also I had been doing some good work with my coach James and had seen such real progress over our time working together. I didn’t want to lose that support & momentum.  I very much knew my life was about to turn to chaos once again. For me the hardest thing I had to do in my final week in Sydney was go tell James I was leaving then deal with telling my friends in the box and seeing the workouts tick down till my final one.

The last day at the box was something very special. James so thoughtfully named the WOD after me and included some of my favourite movements, and some of my least favourite.  

It was a team WOD and my partner was the awesome Chantal.  

Chantal & I post WOD

We came up with our strategy and went for it. Powered through the burpees and lifts. We knew we were a few reps ahead of the dream team of Jake and Mark.  Last big effort for us was the kettlebell swings and we knocked out 165 in the time remaining. We beat the boys by 20reps and won the WOD. I’ve never won a WOD in my life so I have to say it was very cool to win my own named WOD.

I will be forever grateful to the crew at CrossFit New Beginning for all they have given me in the few short months I was there. It was the best CrossFit experience of my life.  I have to give special thanks to my coaches Matt & James who both had a profound impact on me in different ways.  James in particular through his 1:1 sessions and putting so much time into helping me get where I wanted to be.

Coach James

My CFNB Family

So mid Jan I moved back to QLD and commenced being a PT in my own business full time. Somewhat daunting and scary and a lot of pressure to make it work.  I was determined to do all I could however to make this successful.  It is very much my passion and I loved every second of it. From the super early starts to writing up new and challenging programs.

To be honest the results have exceeded my expectations. Business is growing quickly which I needed it to do but didn’t expect it to. For the first time in a long time I am truly happy and loving what I do. I love seeing my clients push through barriers and achieve things they never thought possible.

So whilst all this has been going on I have been trying to sort myself into a routine. Easier said than done, but I am working on it. 

I have joined a new box, which feels like home anyway as I have trained here on my visits back to QLD. I am now a proud member of CrossFit North Lakes and am loving the challenges that are thrown my way through the workouts. I am not getting there as often as I like but am working towards a better routine.

I have also commenced 1:1’s again with my very original coach Adam out of CrossFit Northside. I really enjoy my sessions with Adam and he is a lot like James in that he can always push and challenge me and helps me work out a plan to get to my goals.

So…..what are my goals now?  Excellent question.  Apart from the continual work to improve my CrossFit skills and also my lifting skills, and the endless quest to improve my fitness and body, there are some specific things I am working towards.

I am firstly continuing with my run training. Was very sad when I left Sydney to not be able to run with my coach Tash weekly. She has done an enormous amount of good with my general confidence in running but also my performance. One of the best decisions I ever made was to ask for her help. However she continues to guide and support me by sending me through run programs to complete and analyses my results. Without that I simply wouldn’t bother.  And I am looking forward to a visit to Sydney at some point to run with her again.

I’ve also stepped up and entered 2 strongman events. One major event in April and a smaller event in March.

I wasn’t going to enter the March event until my coach Ellen from CFNL tagged me in a Facebook post asking if I was entering and if not why. I responded saying my training was a bit underdone and she replied about all she was hearing was excuses. Button pushed and I toddled off to enter. Only after entering did I find out the most exciting news.  One of my CrossFit idols in Rob Orlando would be attending. The thought of him being at the event and the chance to meet him was beyond exciting to me.

Then Ellen mentioned he was running his CrossFit Strongman seminar that weekend as well. That is a seminar I had said I would always love to do. Cost was $300 so I set about finding a way to make it happen, and I did. I signed up. That seminar is going to be particularly valuable for me to learn properly a lot of the strongman techniques I will need for my big comp in April, such as atlas stones. It’s going to be one VERY cool weekend for me and a big leap out of my comfort zone. But as this picture Ellen posted to my wall says it’s always about taking action and accepting new challenges so I continue to grow.

I’ve only ever had one go at Atlas Stones in the past so my super strong friend Alli connected me with a friend of hers up here who could help me. So next week I’m off to work with Rebecca and see how I go.  Adam is using my 1:1’s to develop training plans that will help me overall in the event and working on building some key strength components.

So that’s my focus. Getting ready for these two events and learning as much as I can. CrossFit is my primary love and it is through CrossFit I am able to pursue these other interests. Let’s face it, I am never going to be overly competitive in a strictly CrossFit event and I probably never will have the right range of movement for power lifting or weight lifting. Strongman provides a great compromise between the 2 and gives me that competitive outlet in something not everyone can do.  I love the challenge.

As you can see my life is pretty full on at the moment but am beginning to regain that feeling of control and purpose.  I have something to work towards and can see a path. Plus my PT work fulfills me in other ways and I want to keep being the very best I can be for my clients and helping them push towards their goals.

Life is good.

Welcome Back

Sometimes life has a way of surprising you.

Yesterday was not a great day. Personally my impersonation of a gopher sticking it’s head out of a hole did not go so well after copping a few hits, work was stressful and it was basically a long day. Also at the back of my mind was the fact it was deadlift 1RM night at the box.

I  posted about 6 weeks ago about how it had deserted me – Missing One Deadlift.  I was frustrated and down on confidence.  Not helping me feel good about getting my deadlift back was the fact I had seemed to miss every deadlift session done at the box over the last 6 weeks. Awesome. I arrived at the box feeling flat & tired, traffic was awful getting out there, and I had the wrong training gear and just was not feeling it.

The class was massive so I said to James I could sit out and would just do it later in the week and I’d go upstairs and work on my other lifts. I was looking for an out.  I didn’t want to do it and fail again.  James knew this after I had mentioned it briefly in our 1:1 on Tuesday so he certainly wasn’t going to give it to me. He said nope it’s fine. My heart skipped joyfully – NOT!

My good mate Hoffy had been messaging me and she knew I wasn’t all that confident in what I would do. She sent me one text that said simply ‘lift one for me would ya’. I knew she was trying to give me a focus because I didn’t think I do it and that if I was doing one for her then I’d not hold back. And despite knowing this my inner instinct kicked in and I didn’t want to let her down.

Once again teamed up with Lisa & Mya for the session. I have a lot of fun working with these girls and it’s awesome to watch them smash through PB’s and do more than they thought they could. Both are very strong and also quite determined. We push each other along really well.

We began working through our warm up sets and I decided I wanted to try being aggressive with the lifts. Just walk up set my position and go.  The previous night when working on the snatch James had me do some fast explosive deadlifts to get the feel for my knees pulling out of the way first. I decided to try that with the lighter weights to get a good feel going. I hit the first 5 reps at 65kg hard and fast and it felt good.

Working up in weight I was jumping up 10kg at time in the early sets and each set felt as easy as the one before. In between my sets I got to encourage Mya & Lisa with their lifts and watch them smash it.  Once I did my set at 95kg easily and still with some speed I then was determined to beat my previous PB of 120kg. I haven’t lifted anything over 105kg since April. I wanted it a lot.

With every passing rep I got more and more confident. Passing 100 & 105 comfortably gave me so much confidence as that was my sticking point. It felt easy and I felt strong. 110 & 115 came and went and I knew I had more in the tank.  Mya smashed a PR of 90kg and made it look so easy. Very cool.

Lisa & I were still adding weight. Her PR was the same as mine of 120 and I was keen to make sure she had a chance to beat hers as well.  I stepped up to 120 and took a breath and just lifted. When I completed the lift I was so happy to have made it, equal PR and the best I had managed at CFNB. Lisa managed to equal her PR lift which was great!!

I thought about going for 122 but then went bugger it and threw 5kg to bring it to 125.  Time was running down but took a couple of extra seconds for some chalk and a breath then walked to the bar.  I stood, backed off then walked straight in and set up. With one breath in I started the lift and it felt like that bar floated up. Normally when I’ve done a PR it’s a struggle to get it to the top and it drags on my thigh but no such problem last night!! I dropped the bar and threw my hands in the air. I think if I had another 5mins I could have given 130 a crack but time was done.  I even did a little jump for joy.

I’d tweeted earlier in the afternoon about the day not being great and a good friend sent back ‘turn that frown upside down’. Well let me tell you finding my deadlift certainly achieved that!!!  I was buzzing. 

Next up we did floor press and between the 3 of us we all managed PB’s and  I got to 52kg which I had to fight for all the way up but got it.  As usual plenty of laughs between us three girls and somewhat of a comedy of errors helping each other with the weights. It was a good night.

So I sit here today happy & relieved that I got my deadlift mojo back.  I didn’t want it to be a confidence thing moving forward or whatever. Deadlifting was always my go to lift. I guess maybe I took it forgranted that I would always just do it. The battle to get it back certainly makes me appreciate that lift so much more. In fact it’s the PR that means the most to me.

Final tests tomorrow with Snatch and Clean & Jerk.  James did a largely technical session with me on both of these lifts to ensure I had confidence in my technique in order to lift as well as I can on Friday. We did lots of reps at a light weight, even down to 7kg with the snatch. Just to get technique and confidence right.

When I go in tonight I’ll do some work prior to the session just to make sure I’ve still got it. Because I have never done massive weight with either of these lifts and the Snatch is definitely my weakest lift I have no expectations. Whatever I lift I lift, but I know I’ll be one step closer to getting the numbers I know I am capable of.

I saw this photo a couple of days ago and it’s never been truer for me than it is right now.....

At the end of the day, no matter what is going on in my life, that bar is always waiting there to give me an outlet. It doesn’t care about my excuses or how sorry I feel for myself. It’s up to me if it moves or not and what I do with it. I love the feeling of chalking my hands, finding my grip on the bar, feeling the texture as I lock in my grip.  It gives me a single point of focus for that moment in time where I can prove to myself I am indeed strong. 

Improvement

I’m hitting my 3^rd week of hard work.  Working hard, eating clean and focusing on my goals.

Not everything has gone to plan in the last 3 weeks but I’ve made the best choices I could at any given point in time. I haven’t missed a training session and have given every last ounce of myself in each of those sessions.

The results are showing.  I’m seeing some downward movement on the scales.  Interestingly I no longer obsess about that number as I once did. I know it’s important for it to continue to go down and that’s the focus of my coach at the moment. However for me I am much more driven by the physical changes and performance improvements.  Yes I know these are linked to that ever reducing number, but for me it’s continuing to develop as an athlete that drives me.

In week 1 my coach James outlined the first phase of my program and he set me a couple of homework tasks. The first one being 20 push ups on my toes every night. Without fail. He didn’t care that at this point I couldn’t go to depth or if I had to break them up into single reps.  I’ve been diligent with this.  I wouldn’t classify what I do as a push up.  The depth I am now achieving is almost ¾ the way to having my chest hit the ground, but for the purposes of this post I will refer them to push ups.   In just over 2 weeks my depth has increased by about 2 inches and I’m doing them in sets of 5 & 6.  I know the standard that is required and the timeframe I have to achieve that so am super focused on getting to depth ASAP then stringing reps together.

The other drill is to work on developing my midline strength and again 20 reps of a candlestick hold and negative release is my nightly prescription.  These are killers and am only able to do 3 at a time. But I get it done.

Our sessions have been hard & intense. Mostly lots of hard endurance style WOD’s that involve me constantly moving throughout the WOD and no time for resting.  Even during the general class sessions the WOD’s have been long and at times quite heavy.

All of this work, along with work I’ve done all year is showing rewards.

Earlier this week we did a WOD that contained Prone Rows (in push up position and alternate bringing each arm to chest with a dumbbell).  Previously I have only been able to do this on my knees and with a light weight.  This week not only did I rip them out in perfect form with 5kg dumbbells, but did 40 of those bad boys!! BOOM!

The WOD also included weighted sit ups with a 10kg plate held overhead.  I’ve done these before but only with a 5kg plate.  Once again I smashed out 40 of them with the 10kg plate and managing to keep my arms locked out in almost perfect position. Shattered at the end of that WOD but stoked.

Tuesday saw James inflict my nemesis upon me........Airdyne. He wanted me to ride for 10mins for max calories. Previously the longest I’ve had to do was 5mins. I was shattered and my legs felt like death. It was brutal so I certainly wasn’t looking forward to spending double the time on it. You fight so hard for every single one of those calories on the Airdyne. James had a goal for me to get just over 100cals for the effort.  I was simply focused on not coming off the bike and making the time. I set a reasonable pace that I could maintain. After I settled in I started doing 20 bursts of increased intensity and then easing back to my baseline for the remainder of the minute.

I found a spot in my brain where I could just switch off everything and focus on what I had to do.  The last minute I really raised the intensity as much as I could and at the end I had scored 128cals.  Hardest 128cals I’ve ever burnt I can tell you.

Checked my stats from the prev 5min effort and realised I had hit a PB for the 5min time and also overall. WIN

Wednesday night was purely a strength session focusing on weighted squat variations.  The last movement was an overhead squat with a plate. The overhead squat is one of my weakest movements. And holding a plate with the narrow grip I just couldn’t hit the right position so I just did regular overhead squats with the PVC pipe.  Yep that’s right no weight. For someone like me who loves to throw heavy stuff around it felt a little like I went backwards. BUT I know that getting the technique right at low weight or light weight is going to help me long term in lifting heavier. We did the same process with snatches etc a couple of months ago and that worked so well.

For the first time ever I was able to hit those squats to depth AND hold myself in a stable upright position. I was really happy with this progression as it’s been a long time coming. It means all the remedial work I’ve been doing to strengthen my midline, lats and also my mobility is paying off.  I did overhead squats as part of this morning’s WOD with 15kg and was not able to get to depth. I was still much improved but know I have a bit more work to do.  But still the win for me was feeling happier under the bar and more confident.

The other part of today’s WOD was ‘Isabel’ which is 30 snatches for time.

I last did this workout in Nov 2011 with an 8kg bar.  I had no confidence with the snatch movement and really struggled.  I got it done in 2:14 but I distinctly remember it was pretty ugly and basically involved me muscling the bar up.

James has done a lot of work with me on my technique for this complex lift. We’ve done a variety of weights and drills to build my strength, technique and confidence. This morning Matt told me to use 25kg for the workout.  I did a couple of warm up reps and it felt heavy and I wasn’t sure how I would go for 30reps.  I said to him I thought it was too heavy and his reply was ‘it’s supposed to be heavy’, argument over.

Funnily enough once it was go time that bar ripped up over my head. I did the first 10 reps unbroken then dropped the bar, shook out my arms and pushed on.  I did the next set of 5 before I started to feel the failure point on the last lift.  Broke up all the remaining lifts into sets of 5 then 2’s.  Before I knew it I joined the chorus of voices yelling time. I clocked out at 2:51. 

So yeah some of you will say well you did it slower so that’s no improvement, but I did do it with an extra 17kg on the bar AND this time I was actually performing the correct version of the snatch.  17kg might not seem like much of an improvement over a year but when it comes to throwing weight over your head it’s pretty decent.  Considering it’s only in the last couple of months I have been able to add weight and land the lift successfully.  For me it’s a big win for a lift I lacked confidence in.

Mentally this couple of weeks has been quite tough. I’ve been adjusting to a few things and finding my focus. But I find CrossFit gives me the goals and purpose to simple engage autopilot to get what I have to do done. As has happened so many times this year, when I step inside that box nothing else matters. It’s me doing what I love more than anything in the world, standing shoulder to shoulder with people I respect immensely.  In that moment it’s my time to do something for me.

This year is rapidly drawing to a close. Part of me is eternally grateful to close the door on what has been one of the hardest years I have ever endured.  At times however there have been some incredible moments which in not for the hard stuff I would never have experienced. 

I would never have competed and 5 CrossFit Games days, and gained enormous confidence from, oh and a new t-shirt collection!! I would never have competed in my first strongwoman event.  I would never have started focusing on my running and enlisted the amazing support of my run coach. I wouldn’t have made it to Melbourne to see my friend Hoffy show true bravery in completing the 2012 Burpee Challenge.  It hasn’t all been bad, and that’s something I need to remind myself of when the dark clouds roll over.

I’ve met some amazing people along the way and shared some incredible journeys, even if just for a brief time.  I’m getting much better at accepting people and relationships for what they are and being ok when they disappear from my life.  It is what it is. I can’t control them but as a good friend pointed out to me very recently I can control how I allow myself to feel about it. Their choices are a reflection on them and not me.  Again something I need to remember more frequently.

I’ve learnt this year life is uncertain, and yes it can be hard and brutal.  There are things to be worried about and afraid of. I am learning however the best way to deal with that is to just do the best I can, to be true to my values and who I am.

The improvements continue in all facets of my life and the learning never ends.  Not every day is going to be a PR day, some days you just gotta go back to basics and refocus, but on the good days make the most of that feeling as the bar passes up so effortlessly overhead. Hang on to that feeling and keep moving forward.